An Interview with a Cat

A curious reporter, out to get a story, shows up in Ednalee, Oklahoma. She wants to interview Nettie Elizabeth Duncan McNeil (Ned) about her return to Ednalee and her plans for the future but, alas, Ned is not home. However, Penny the small gray cat who shares her home with Ned, is sitting sedately on the front porch of Uncle Javin’s Victorian house and graciously agrees to speak with the reporter.

Reporter: Thank you for talking with me. I can hardly wait for this story to hit the newspapers. An interview with a cat! Wow!Maybe I’ll make the big time, as in The Associated Press or cable TV news or…

Penny: We tend to get excited and have large imaginations, don’t we?

Reporter: Sorry. Now, tell me, Miss Penny, how long have you lived here in this fabulous old house?

Penny: Actually, only a couple of years or so. But, I love it here. I feel much more comfortable than I did in my old home.  I don’t know–there was something, um, rather furtive about my previous devotee. Do you know what I mean?

Reporter: No, but I’d like to know. Why do you like living here at the Granger home? Do you keep the mice out of that tumble-down carriage house? Do you roam around the acreage on moonlit nights? Are you sort of a guard cat for Mrs. McNeil?

Penny: (hair standing up and eyes as round as a full moon) Are you kidding me? Eat mice? Yuck! I think not! I have discovered, while honing the fine art of self-indulgence, that if I look plaintively up at Mrs. McNeil and allow her to sleep at the head of the bed while I humbly take the foot, she is more inclined to grease my food dish with cream or other tasty tidbits to spice up the dry Kibbles. And, as far as roaming the grounds is concerned, I am amazed at your temerity! Strange things happen on these grounds. Why, I remember hearing tales from my granny …(delicate shudder.)  I feel no compunction to guard anyone.  I stay safely enclosed within these four walls, usually, except for today when the sun is shining and I can’t ignore this comfortable porch cushion. Anything else? It’s nearly time for my afternoon nap.

Reporter: Tell me a little bit about Mrs. McNeil. Nettie, or Ned? I’ve heard that she has recently been involved in a mystery surrounding this old house. Wasn’t there some danger and didn’t she have a close call with a dog?

Penny: If you are going to keep mentioning horrid things like mice and dogs, I shall immediately terminate this interview. Yes, I’m afraid that poor Mrs. McNeil very nearly came to an untimely end, but thankfully, she was spared. I had visions of trying to find another home and my dinner hour being ignored and, just too many interruptions to my rather comfortable schedule. And, actually, I’ve grown rather fond of Mrs. McNeil. It’s sort of us against the world, you know? At least, I hope that’s the way it continues. As I say, I don’t care much for change and interrupted schedules and I really don’t like the way that police chief looks at her. Hopefully, they’ll remain nothing more than friends.

Reporter: You mentioned moonlight…

Penny: No, just to keep the record straight, I believe that you are the one who mentioned it.

Reporter: Anyway, what is the old folk tale that seems to center around moonlight and Granger Mansion?

Penny: (yawning) I’d rather not talk about it, and I’m growing rather weary. I feel a nap coming on , but let me tell you, I wouldn’t want to be out alone when the next full moon happens.  because, judging from what I’ve seen and heard,  Moonlight Can Be Murder.

Penny the Cat